someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
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