I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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