Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Randomize
