i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
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