I hope mine doesn't look like that
I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
