If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
i permit you to call me
Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
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