One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Randomize
