i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Randomize
