i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Randomize
