I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
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