you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
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