great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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