I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Randomize
