and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
I murdered the dance floor call the cops
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
