For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
I swear she didn't look like that last week.
Xanax induced break ups are the best. Since I'm a professional fiancee, I'm going to break up with them on Xanax from now on. It didn't hurt one tiiiiiny bit.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
