69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
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