we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
Randomize
