How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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