Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
