I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
Randomize
