Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Randomize
