so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
