When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
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