I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize
