god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
Randomize
