I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
Randomize
