the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Randomize
