The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
Randomize
