Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
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