I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
