I wanna bring you to show and tell
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
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