Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
Randomize
