wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
