Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
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