Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
Randomize
