had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
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