Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
