just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
Randomize
