I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Randomize
