it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
This is my gift to your gina
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
Randomize
