how can u be prego again
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
