cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
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