we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Randomize
