Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
Are my feet made of real feet?
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
Randomize
