So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
Randomize
