Pregnant stripper...not hot.
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Randomize
