I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
Drunk in a bar in Texas. The 24 y/o hottie I am chatting up just called me a male cougar. I am dealing with this whole turning 40 thing juuuust fine.
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
