i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
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