Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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