she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
Randomize
